The Art of Holding Storytelling spaces
03/01/2025
I come from a culture where we listen by talking. This is how we make someone feel heard. Growing up, I learned that listening meant waiting for my turn to speak, offering advice or helping people fix their problems. Then I discovered storytelling. My journey into storytelling began as a teller. This was a necessary step for me as I had a number of experiences bottled up in me that were bursting to be told and tell them I did. But, the more I told stories, the longer I stood on that podium, the more curious I became about what was going on, on the other side. I could feel that the audience was crucial to how I was experiencing the telling and I wanted to explore what was happening. What it was they were providing me with when they offered me the gift of their attention?
This is when I encountered the idea of holding space. I have yet to find a Dutch phrase that captures the essence of this. I have come to understand the art of holding space as the practice of creating a safe, non-judgemental environment where someone can express themselves freely, without feeling rushed, criticized or pressured. Originally, the term emerged in therapeutic settings but it has now expanded into personal and community contexts – and this is where it resonates with me as a storytelling host.
In a community setting, whether as an audience of a storytelling event or as a participant in story circles, holding space happens when we truly listen. It is an emergent phenomenon alive and immediate and can only happen in the present moment. To hold space means becoming a vessel for someone else’s lived experience – not as detached observers but as participants. We empty ourselves of our noise and judgement, and for a few moments, as a community, we create a space where the teller can pour their story. In doing so, we hold them—not by solving or fixing, but simply by witnessing their experiences while honouring their autonomy and trusting in their ability to navigate and narrate their own lives.
And this is transformative – both for the teller and for the listeners.
These days it feels like we are bombarded with voices. Having an opinion has almost become a currency with countless platforms to amplify those voices and opinions. Podcasts, blogs, vlogs, you tube videos, tik toks, opinion columns – everybody is telling their story, shouting it out into the void hoping to be heard. The need to be listened to is obvious everywhere we look.
But maybe it’s time to shift focus. What if we learned to listen differently? What is we learned how to hold the space for people’s stories without judgement and experience. There’s a transformative power in paying true attention, the kind that allows someone to feel fully seen and understood.
When we develop this ability to hold space, we create a different kind of currency—one that builds connection. It’s the kind of listening that makes people feel they belong, that they’re part of something bigger, a community that truly has their back.
Erasmus once said, “Space separates bodies, not minds.” It’s a powerful reminder of how deeply we can connect when we truly hold space for each other.
Christine Fenech – facilitator Vertelkringen hosten
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